Hearts Desire!

Sometimes I think about the things inside of my heart, the things I truly desire.......Why are they there? Why does my heart long for seemingly impossible objectives? I want things that are barely imaginable, why do I want these things? Some people would just jot these things down as dreams, jokes, and whatever else you'd call them.......It's funny that these things exist, and I find it far funnier to call these things impossible, unimaginable......I believe we have these desires not as measuring sticks to be compared to the things we already have going or things to think about when we go to sleep, I believe that we have these desires in our hearts because they are completely obtainable desires, and they are reserved for us.......I always say something along these lines "If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect other people to believe in you" I think this saying completely translates to our desires, if we don't believe we can obtain the things deep in hearts, then there's absolutely no way anyone else would........Getting back to the point I say believe in yourself, believe the difference you can make in the world.........Every movement, every revolution, every invention, every discovery, these things all started as a small light inside of someone's heart......Instead of shrugging off these desires, they pursued them, they made wanting into becoming, a dream into a reality, a desire into an achievement........The key component of these great things weren't money, or power, but instead it was a result of a person who didn't care about the doubts of others, but knew what they wanted and they did everything in their power to make in happen.......All in all, the thing I'm saying is do the things your heart cries out for, whether it's as simple as writing, or as complicated as changing something about the world........We have these desires for a reason, otherwise it wouldn't make sense for them to exist........My heart cries out to make a difference, preferably in the world but even if it's just one life my heart wants to improve the quality of life, maybe not by monetary means but instead improving both the imagine and belief a person has in their self, helping that person achieve a desire of their own......Believe in yourself, trust your heart, chase your dreams, never stop running until you've made your wildest desires reality!!!

Darkness

My eyes become shrouded by pitch black solitude.
A realization of the looming isolation sets in as my mind becomes weary.
I attempt to think back, back to when I lived with the multitude.
I see people filled with life, with hope but my vision becomes blurred I can no longer see clearly.
It seems as if my thoughts have become void in this dire situation.
I close my eyes, nothing. I slow my breathing, nothing. I try to remember anything, still nothing.
Suddenly I'm overwhelmed by this sensation.
My mind seems to be slipping away, falling into this atmosphere of despair.
I open my eyes looking straight forward, there's nothing but black as I stare.
It feels like time is moving as I stand still, months, years as I stand in this never-ending fog.
Alone, nothing around me, no thoughts, no memories, only my looming doom.
In my soul I had prepared myself for my fate, I slowly let my eyelids fall, I began to nod.
Then in the next moment I wake, or am taken over by sleep. I'm in a rather small room, an almost empty room.
Belief, I'm filled with hope in that moment I believe in salvation, I believe I'm saved.
I fall to my knees in sheer joy, a smile becomes visible on my face.
I stretch out as I lay on the floor, my arms above my head touching a wall, my feet extended to the other.
Then it hit me, I'd never been to this place. I suddenly felt trapped in the framework of this room, in this screen-shot of society.
This room I'd been thrown into was seemingly inescapable, no trapdoor, no lever.
My existence felt irrelevant, the room, this place had no need for me.
Then came the time for me to decide, do something which amounted to nothing in this complete place, this place that didn't need me.
Or do nothing and exist, in an existence that wasn't necessary.
Make a choice, good or bad, positive or negative it didn't matter in the picture I could see.
I felt as if I should just wither away like branch disconnected from the tree.
Deserted, or deserter, I couldn't fully comprehend this facade of living.
I fell to the ground, I begin to weep.
I'm hysterical, I struggle to breath I feel alone, I feel cold I begin to shiver, I feel isolation’s sting.
As no escape is visible I slide downhill, as I move the hill itself seems to become more and more steep. So I just go with the flow and accept my so called fate.
I become content with the way things are, I tell myself that I don't really care.
I look up and see a door, so I decide to change things, to change this room.
The door seems close but getting to it proves to be difficult, but somewhere in my heart I decide that this room will become what I create.
So I walk over to the door, I turn the knob and walk through.
I suddenly see my room, my bed, it was my door, I'm laying there.
So real the dream felt to me to be a reality, it was further from imagination and closer to true.
But thinking as I lie there, by waking did I escape my dream, or was I arriving in a nightmare.

The Brave Man

The stream flows from the head down to the hand

Body excreting the painful fluid called blood

Because of his beliefs he was killed by another man

Now his body lies helplessly in the mud

He screams as his life slowly begins to drain

He can’t move immobilized by the discrimination

The rain beats down, he’s in tremendous pain

Body suddenly taken over by this sensation

His eyes begin to blacken he can’t see

Breathing slowed gasping for air

Killed for his beliefs how can this be

Age 17, a burden he should not have to bear

Dying now after he overcame sex, drugs and hurt

He bleeds with no way to stop the pain it brings

Stained red, bloods over fills his once grey shirt

His body is numb now all he feels is hates sting

His family approaches his mangled body, they cry

A better place is awaiting this brave man

He believes God is real so he has to die

You may disagree but its all part of a bigger plan

Rebels came through and killed him with no hesitation

Something so evil it can’t be true

His family mourns as his soul approaches its destination

There’s nothing left that they can do

Now everyone’s afraid to lose their lives so they hide

Unafraid this man made the ultimate sacrifice

But a brave man will be rewarded on the other side

He gave his life to believe in Christ

Tacoma

As you slowly creep down the oil-stained pavement of I-5, you approach this city

Your windows down, you can smell an aroma of no other sort

A distasteful smell it makes you look down on the community with pity

The traffic sets in, makes you angry, a poor sport

So your eyebrows are turned down, you look in the rearview

You realize that the traffic goes back, a line stretching miles behind

The horns are honking, the people screaming you have no idea what to do

Then you pull the seat down take a deep breathe, and try to ease the mind

Eyes close for a moment you reach a place of true satisfaction

As you ease into this place of peace, you hear a loud honk behind you

Your moments gone you snap back to reality, an instant reaction

Eyelids roll up, the sun has begun to set, the sky a pale blue

You can finally see the Tacoma Dome in all its glory

A small grin sneaks out from your bitterness

You see the buildings tall, magnificent, you can now almost grab the city

The sight stretches across your whole plain of vision the air is crisp

You come around the bend, no longer angry, happy on the contrary

You let out a sigh of relief looking for the time you gaze at your wrist

As your sight returns, you see the cable bridge dangling in the open air

So many wires as the bridge just seems to levitate

At that moment, all worries disappear, your content without a care

The stress, the anxiety all seem to dissipate

Your lungs scream for air so you take a deep breathe, air so crisp and clean

The tension has worn away; everything seems at rest you hear not a groan

Mind begins to settle, thinking this is the perfect scene

Then reality kicks in and you remember, this is home

Tacoma.

Alice (Preview)

Scene 1

(In Alice’s home, Richard, Alice’s father is talking with her mother.)

Dad:  Honey are you quite ready yet?  We must be on our way or we will most certainly be late.  How do I look?

Mom:  Sharp as ever.

Dad:  Have you spoken with Charles mother yet?  I would like it if you reassured her, they will be wed.  The arrangements are being made, everything should go as planned.  Alice, you must hurry!  This will be most embarrassing if we’re late.

Mom: Richard you must relax.

Dad:  Did you say relax?  Easy for you to say, there is however much to be done.  A wedding does not plan itself you know.  Loose ends must be tied, people must be contacted.  There are two sides to every wedding.  It is a little more then a days work, there is no time to relax.  Alice!  Will you go speak to your daughter?

Mom: You shouldn’t be so hard on her Richard she is just a girl.

Dad:  You say she is just a girl.  Margret you were arranged to be my wife and you were much younger then she is.  This is the time where she must become a woman.  You can only be a girl for so long.  Alice now!  You should know that better then anyone.  Will you go and speak with her?  I still need to finish getting ready.

Mom:  I will go and speak with her, if that is really what you want Richard.

Dad:  The things I want are not important; this is something I need you to do, we have to be on our way.  Well go.

(In Alice’s bedroom).

Mom: Sweetie is everything all right.  Are you okay?

Alice:  Mom, I’m scared.  This isn’t what I want.  I can’t marry Charles, I don’t love him.  I don’t think I can do this.

Mom:  Honey I know how you feel, I felt the same way.  What is important is you respect your father’s wishes and go ahead with this wedding.  It’s hard I know but you will be happy trust me.  I didn’t think I loved your father and look where we are today.  Is everything perfect?  Not even close but I’m happy.  If I had not gone through with it, I wouldn’t have you.

Alice:  But mom…

Mom:  Enough Alice I am sorry there is nothing I can do, your father has decided.

Dad:  Are we ready yet?  I asked you to get her downstairs ready to go, not delay us more.

Mom:  I’m sorry, she’s just a little nervous.  Her mind is a little all over the place.

Dad:  Is this true Alice?  Are you nervous?

Alice:  Dad I’m not sure if I can do this.

Dad:  Alice, darling Charles is what is best for you, and our family.  You have to marry Charles.

Alice:  Dad…..I know you don’t understand but this isn’t what I want.  Charles is great, but he isn’t the guy for me.  I’m not ready to be married.  I have so much life still to be lived.  So many more things to experience.

Dad:  Alice, honey you have no say in this issue.  What needs to be done will be done.

Alice:  Mom!

Mom:  Alice I’m sorry honey, I love you but this is just the way things are done.

Dad:  There is no way we can wait.  Alice we will leave you and let you think about it.  Darling you’ll understand over time, we are looking after your best interest.

(Alice’s parents leave her alone in her room)

Alice:  What ever happened to love?  Love at first sight.  I just want a chance to be happy and fall in love.  Is that much to ask for?  Love, (Alice chuckles) too much to ask for.  Why can’t things be different?  Why can’t people be different?  If only..

(Alice suddenly hears a loud bang and looks towards her door.  It suddenly looks unfamiliar and is a little different then it was before.  Alice gets up slowly to investigate.  She opens the door slowly as the lights dim and the curtain closes.  When the curtains rise, again it is a completely new world.  She speaks in rhyme she is not singing.)

Scene 2

Alice:  What is this place, these things?  Where have I gone?

It’s so strange everything seems different.

Everything looks great; it’s beautiful but there’s something wrong.

Ouch my head, I wish I could remember where I went.

(Pause Alice takes a moment to peer around)

This place, I have to figure out where I am.

I’m not worried anymore, my mind my thoughts have seemed to cease.

Before, at home I was ready to explode, right on the brim.

Now, somehow I seem to be at peace.

This place is so peaceful, peaceful

Oh how peaceful, so peaceful

It is so very peaceful

All my problems have disappeared, disappeared

All my problems have disappeared, disappeared

I am so happy, so very happy

I cannot help but dance and sing, dance and sing

This new world is so different, so very different

It is wonderful, beautiful, amazing

Nothing like I have ever seen

All my problems have disappeared, disappeared

All my problems have disappeared, disappeared

I am so happy, so very happy

I cannot help but dance and sing, dance and sing

This new world is so different, so very different

It is wonderful, beautiful, amazing

Nothing like I have ever seen

This place is so peaceful, peaceful

Oh how peaceful, so peaceful

It is so very peaceful

(Alice continues humming as she walks off stage.  Enter Lil Fatter.  A rather nervous man who speaks in a very fast tempo.  It seems like he doesn’t have things under control.)

Lil Fatter:  Who who was that?  I’ve never seen her before.  This this is terrible.  She doesn’t realize what they will do.  She she doesn’t realize what they will do.  Our world will suf-suffer greatly if I do not take care of her.  Oh my, oh my this couldn’t be, couldn’t be worse.  I must, I must hurry.  But, but where could she have, she have, where could she have gone?  Hopeful, ho hopefully I can find her in time.  Time, oh time, time is running short.

(Lil Fatter continues to ramble as he runs off after Alice).

(Blackout)

Beauty

Beauty is an interesting thing that amazes me more and more. You see the beauty of a person the exterior beauty. You can be blow away purely by the way they look. Then as you talk and you get a grasp of who this person is, a lot of that beauty dissipates. This works both ways, which poses the point we need to judge a person by the content of their character not by the way they look. The things inside of a person last much longer then the things outside. I think half of this issue isn't our fault, we've inherited it. Listen for a second as we've grown up we've seen the country also fall back on material objects, right. We always need the nicest everything. If we have something thats old or a little used we need something new. I feel like we try and apply that to people, which is wrong. It for one doesn't work and for two makes you miss out on the true beauty of an individual. When you want to date someone, what is your purpose? This is an important question to ask yourself for the benefit of the other person. Could you ever see yourself marrying them? Yeah seems weird right well guys if we asked this more we'd avoid dead end relationships that hurt our significant other. Motive is important and depending on the motive I believe that beauty is hindered. If you desire purely physical benefits, which is wrong, you'll miss a lot of the beauty of a person. They deserve the best you can give them, so if you don't see yourself giving them that, then don't. When you hurt them you wrong them of that beauty. Lets pull up our pants guys, open our eyes, and see the BEAUTY!!!!!

Adversity

People cringe at the word adversity, and it makes sense. Normally we associate this word with problems that can't be fixed, or trouble that our lives bring. Well rather we should label the word as opportunity. Humans rise to their greatest when equal adversity comes against them. All through out history the greatest people arouse to solve a wave of adversity that struck their people and their time. Like George Washington the first president who helped establish the America we have today. If it wasn't for our country splitting down the middle he would of never rose up to bring unity and a country with one government. Or Martin Luther King Jr. a man full of integrity that saw the unfairness in segregation. These people and MANY more rose up in adversity and now are going to be remembered forever. So look at the adversity in your life not as a punishment but as an opportunity to find strength and to become the best you can be. It's in darkness that we find our light. It's when it's pitch black that we shine our brightest. Don't fall to adversity, overcome it. Always believe in yourself and never settle for less then YOU know what your worth.......:)

The Morning

So many people hate getting up in the morning, and I believe I now understand why. When I get up early I want my distraction and they aren't around. Theres no shows on, nobody on facebook, nobody to call or text so I'm left with just myself. This wouldn't be terrible but this leaves you to think. I believe people regret this time because of the things they have to think about. They think about all the things they have to do, everything that isn't going their way. I enjoy this time because I think about the future, it excites me. The stresses of the day will pass so why waste time worrying about them? Yes the future will pass but if you think about it you can better prepare your plan. I also get excited about work. I work at Giaudrone Middle School in the role as a mentor and a big brother. I just hang out with kids and talk to them everyday. Some are in rough situations and others aren't but they all provide hope. When I was in middle school I thought the future was the things that were going to happen later that day. I had no desire for college, or high school I just cared about the day I was living, and look at me now. These kids though right now the road is rough and injustices are all over their lives they know what college they want to attend. This makes me want more for myself. They know so little of the tribulation that will come with college yet they desire it FULL heartedly. This makes me excited in the morning. It gives me things to think about in that time of pure emptiness. I recommend starting your day early, it gives you more time to make an awesome day.....:)

This Generation

Our current generation has started worse then any before us. We're in debt, the worlds in turmoil, and hope is slowly draining day by day. We've been told countless times that the problems of today rest on our shoulders and we can't escape them. Everyone hopes, expects us to find all the answers, to fix every problem. The pressure surmounts all that we are and the task seems impossible. We look at the problems in our own lives and it seems insane to think that we can solve the problems of this world we live in. So many families broken, tore apart, barely making it through life itself. I know in my own life that things weren't easy, never simple, and always stressful. Growing up we have been told that we are worthless, that life isn't in our control, that things will never change, they will never get better. This has made us satisfied, yes I said satisfied. The troubles of our lives have become sufficient and we are okay with our situation. We say life is life, things won't ever get better. This is a lie. I stand on behalf of our generation and say we won't rely on hope, on fate, I say we are the hope. The people I know, the people I've met are not satisfied, but humbled. It's funny we have a choice to be humble or get humbled. I'm grateful this generation has been humbled. We don't care about the past but we are excited for the future. I say we are the future. The power we possess is amazing, and under utilized. We don't believe in change, we are change. I look at the person I was and I cry. Not because it was sad, but because I wasn't living the life I deserved. I thank God that I now know who I am and what I want. The change I've seen in my life and in the lives of the people around me give me desire. Desire to show the world that change is possible, that change is good, that change is obtainable. I don't sigh at the task before our generation and neither should you. I know that we will not only solve the problems of today but we will prevent the problems of tomorrow. We must believe in ourselves and believe in the people around us. We must encourage and build up rather then criticize and tear down. We are amazing, we are beautiful and we are wonderful. The future.....is ours.